$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
