my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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