ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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