Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
