I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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