from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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