i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The adults are the big ones right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
