Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
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I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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