The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
