if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
