I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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