I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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