We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
