he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize