Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
so much tequila, so little girl.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
