Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
