i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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