youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
