who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
