All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
