i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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