Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
