I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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