She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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