Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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