Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
