Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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