Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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