I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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