You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
