Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
