My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize