Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize