awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
