I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
