so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
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Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
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i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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