When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
