Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Couch. On fire.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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