Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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