Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
