that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
