I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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