um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
hey u leave my anime porn out of this