Plan B is the new Plan A
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is This New Dating App Elitistâ€¦Or Genius?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.