ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?