I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot