you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level