1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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