I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
