You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
