I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
