Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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