I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
