Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
