we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
