So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
