You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
