I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
