She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
