Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
