The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
