what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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