You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
