so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Randomize
