You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
