It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
