It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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