the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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